You can say this year's birthday was filled w plenty of thoughts, memories and wishes. I was on the phone w Durka ytd after school and what she said above was so true. Call me a killjoy, but on your birthday you'd actually realise who are the ones you can count and lean on. Who are the one's who bother to go out an extra step by sending a text or write on your fb wall, at the very least, to make your birthday a special one. Truth is, the ones who forget are often the ones you love the most, the least expected. And sometimes, it kinda hurts to know that the time you've given into that particular friendship result in nothing. I suppose that was why my day didn't end well. I cld do away w all the birthday wishes in my inbox and on my fb wall from people I hardly know, whom I don't even talk to and get that one text/wish from the close people who forgot. I suppose people change, and I shld stop expecting so much from them. So what if I give so much? Jesus said it's better to give than to receive.

Nevertheless, thank you for alllll the things you guys have done yesterday. From the many texts I received to that lovely Mango cake-cutting ceremony+birthday song singing from my beloved class to that small slice of cake from Shan. Thank you Daddy and Mommy for that awesome (and expensive-really, Idk why you guys ordered so much beef?!) dinner on Sunday, Kor and Crys for the Zara voucher and David/Val for popping over last night w flowers and goodies.

Talking about Change, I've come to a realisation that maybe the one who's changing was me all along. I just kept pushing the blame on others, on why things are different. I can feel it, I'm changing to a person I've always stopped myself from becoming. There were so many times I felt like just breaking down on the spot but I forced myself not to cry. The reason why? I suppose I'm so afraid of the people around me changing that I changed myself first so that I could get used to the difference in the future (which I'm certain would come) Am I making sense? However, today in Chapel, one thing that hit me was that I have an unchanging God. One who I can lean on when the world is falling apart. I find so much comfort in being in the presence of God, I cannot put up a front in front of Him. His presence is just so powerful that when I'm around Him I have to break down and open my heart. I'm at a loss, a mess, a girl who has lost her way. I don't know where to go from here, really. I need to focus and I need God.